I have to get used to the fact that I will always be seen as a foreigner in Pakistan. Lets be frank, my Urdu is not the greatest. Even though I can communicate with others but how I speak sets me apart from everyone else. I have been laughed at, in fact I have been asked if I am a 'pathan' because of how I speak. Pathans are referred to as ethnic Afghans or Pashtuns and are often distinguished by the way they speak Urdu, which is not always clear.

When I go to field visits and introduce myself as someone from Canada who has come to Pakistan to learn at AKU, I am automatically bombarded with several questions. Some personal and others general. Even when I do not introduce myself and just open my mouth, the questions start. Initially I found this to be uncomfortable as some would ask really personal questions. Questions that are 'normally' not asked during the first encounter. I say 'normally' because the definition varies from culture to culture and person to person. A question that I would always get asked and that would make me most uncomfortable is "Are you married?" If not then, "Are you engaged." "How did you meet him?" "Is it love?" Now just imagine how I felt. Blushing. Shy. Shifting my weight. Looking down. Giving one word answers.

I have now realized a few things now. First, many of the individuals I have met thus far have had no interaction with the outside world. They have stayed in the same country, the same city, and the same village all their lives. They interact with the same neighbours, the same 'sabzi wala' (vegetable man) and the same 'doodh wala' (milk man) all their lives. Some to do not even own a T.V to at least be updated as to what is going on in the world. There is a sense of isolation. So it is no wonder that as soon an individual from another country enters their premises, their curiosity would peak. They want to know what it is like 'over there?' What do I do? What do I do for enjoyment? In a way I am seen as their only connection with the outside world. Sure I am still uncomfortable when I am bombarded with questions (I guess its my personal nature) but I am more understanding now. So why not share with them what I can for knowledge that is to benefit all is to be shared. Also, this type of sharing is a form of human connection that goes beyond all boundaries and territories. Not to worry, I try not to reveal too much information as I know some (not all) can use this to harm me and those around me.

Second, the concept of love is always a great mystery especially in a country where arranged marriages is the norm. Individuals are not permitted to choose who they will marry as it is a decision made by the family, for the family. They make this decision by weighing the benefits verses the risks. However, some decisions are made only to benefit some and not others but that is a topic in it self! Regardless, interest and curiosity becomes heightened at the thought of some one's marriage being a love marriage. This is something new. Something different. Something exciting. Sure love marriages are now becoming popular even here in Karachi but the norm is still arrange marriages. So when I am talking to the female family members about my "love life" I feel like we are school girls indulging in our secrets. I do not feel uncomfortable anymore. Instead, I feel like I am a part of their family.